Music, Gender, and Expectations

In my experience, people generally listen to the music that they can relate to. Whether the lyrics remind them of their own experiences, or the sounds resonate with their emotions, I think people enjoy listening to music that their minds and bodies deeply understand. For those who think in terms of black and white, I think it can be confusing when someone relates more strongly to music created by the opposite gender. 

Oftentimes, women are expected to listen to feminine music, and men are expected to listen to masculine music. Defining "feminine music" and "masculine music" is entirely subjective, other than the consideration of the gender of the singing voice.

I think women are often expected to listen to female musicians, and men to male musicians. When a person tends to listen to music performed by the opposite gender, I think certain people look at them differently. 

I've always preferred loud, energetic, and, frankly, rough music. I don't think this is very shocking to most people, since my generation has been exposed to such a broad range of music through the internet. 

The only hardcore band with a female voice that I listen to is Firewalker. I'm confident there would be more, if only I could find any. I understand why there aren't many, though; this sound generally isn't conducive to the female voice. 

When I've told people about my love for Firewalker, I'm sure they were thinking, "She likes them because they have a female singer!" Which is partially true – it's really cool to see female representation in this genre. But... I also just like how they sound. 

Another band that I listen to is Mayhem. But I don't tell many people that I listen to them for a few reasons: the band is very dark, and the history of the band is very dark, but I also don't think it's very common for women to listen to them. I think it's a common sentiment in this male-dominated community that women only listen to this band – and this genre in general – for male validation. And, frankly, that makes me sick. I just like how they sound. 

You may think that I'm overthinking this – and you're probably right. But how common is it for a man to question a woman about her music taste to "make sure she's not a poser"? How many times have you seen a woman wearing band merchandise, and being told unprovoked to "name 5 songs"? 

I'm confident that these all-too-common occurrences stem from gender expectations. No one has questioned me about my love for Firewalker, but I've definitely experienced pushback about my appreciation for Mayhem, despite the bands being relatively equally loud and abrasive. 

I think my dad has experienced this same sort of pushback, but, as a man, on the opposite end of the spectrum. He's played Alanis Morisette in the car with me for as long as I can remember, and, alongside my mother's love for Heart, his music really developed my appreciation for a unique female voice. 

But I know he's been questioned about it, especially when he was a young man. Whether it was from his friends or his sister, the most common response when he shared this aspect of his music taste was: "You only listen to her because she's hot." Which, again, is partially true! Alanis is very hot. But she also has a strong, almost jarring sound that never fails to provoke emotion from her listeners. 

No one questioned him about his love for Pink Floyd, though. Even though the majority of their music is generally softer and calmer than most of Alanis' discography, it's generally perceived as masculine music. But I'm confident that it wouldn't be if Roger Waters was female. 

We're all aware that the lines between gender are being blurred in the modern era; for a significant portion of the population, gender is no longer considered a strict binary, but a broad and shifting spectrum. So, I think these gender-based expectations for music taste are becoming less and less prevalent. 

My personal example still holds true because of the type of people – mostly opinionated white men – that listen to Nordic black metal; and my dad's example draws from his experiences in the 1990's. 

Despite your opinions about gender, I think we can all agree that it's good to see the gender expectations around music taste slowly but surely disappearing. Music is such an important aspect of so many peoples' lives, and no one deserves to be questioned for what they enjoy; especially music, which presents no harm to other people.